i have a new story in my head. but i'm always trapped in this bed. it's a futon, can we move on? still, there's this apathetic attitude i have, or had, recently. i like to draw, but what's the point? i like to write, but really, where's the point in that?
instead, i'll sleep and be a bull fighter in my dreams. hopefully something badass and not like my last one: i stole a bunch of shit from a yard sale and got sniped on my getaway. obviously, that's too good to be true.
does anyone (i'm talking to you! the lone wolf reader!) remember when the times (NOT THE NEWSPAPER) didn't suck? not to get all debbie downer, but really? those times when the hardest decision was whether or not to trade Squirtle for Charmander (Char was my favorite, okay, no one was tradin' him on my watch!). but seriously...simple times. now, i spend my days scatterbrained as a gypsy cat named Lucky or Steven (still deciding on the name). i work my ass off part-time fo' free at this internship. i literally run and sweat and do everything short of blown' the janitor for them. and although it's a great "foot-in-the-door" dance, i don't want to toe my way in. i want to fuckin' round house kick that bitch in and storm in with some outrageous fog machine wheezing out an arrival cloud. and, these people aren't gonna hire me. i'm not a desk person, a phone person, a head-set kind of guy. and they know that. but maybe, just maybe, something totally awesome (80ssss!) will come of this.
the other half of my time goes to either sleeping, getting constantly ignored by shitty employers (seriously, am i that horrible of a potential employee?), doodling messes, and occasionally having a meltdown or two (see: this blog entry). i'm just ready for a change. something. anything.
i am sure something good will come of your internship.. i know it must be hard now.. but you're such a creative and inspiring person.. no one can deny that. You'll have no trouble finding a job.. you just have to.... BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.. :D
ReplyDeletei do remember the simple days... i loved them so much. I used to be really nostalgic in life and ALWAYS thought about childhood and how simple life was..
I am starting to realize more and more that it won't ever happen again until I am an old ass grandma like my great grandmother. she doesn't have a job (der, she's 95..) she paints everything, makes her own food, smokes up a fookin' STORM and has her own sewing room with outfits picked out and hanging on the walls.. she is truly who i want to be in the latest years of my life. She has some really inspiring memories of her childhood.. she is amazing.
she also paints all of her purses and shoes.. hahahahah
<3 me